their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
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why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
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She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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