He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
