i just had sex bonerless
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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