I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Randomize
