dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
My day in three words: secret purse cake
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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