It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
