Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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