It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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