I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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