STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
