bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
