Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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