He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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