There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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