Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
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You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one