Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style. http://tfl.nu/eq3b
  Replies (27) Good night (1364) Bad night (9108)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore. http://tfl.nu/ogz1
  Replies (19) Good night (1137) Bad night (3730)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40... http://tfl.nu/f1ts
  Replies (25) Good night (710) Bad night (5776)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis http://tfl.nu/fnup
  Replies (77) Good night (5551) Bad night (899)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  mine is 'the'.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'. (703): mine is 'the'. http://tfl.nu/v1g1
  Replies (32) Good night (9069) Bad night (825)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth. http://tfl.nu/vl66
  Replies (16) Good night (1394) Bad night (5848)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show. http://tfl.nu/9mds
  Replies (16) Good night (3758) Bad night (793)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building. http://tfl.nu/resy
  Replies (7) Good night (3704) Bad night (1454)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer http://tfl.nu/uk5v
  Replies (2) Good night (3020) Bad night (672)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february... http://tfl.nu/39i3
  Replies (6) Good night (4376) Bad night (879)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that. http://tfl.nu/dgzr
  Replies (6) Good night (1704) Bad night (1148)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance http://tfl.nu/6e2i
  Replies (6) Good night (1738) Bad night (1043)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us http://tfl.nu/0tdj
  Replies (2) Good night (1166) Bad night (1297)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me (815): I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs http://tfl.nu/bc51
  Replies (2) Good night (1931) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work. http://tfl.nu/qyvz
  Replies (2) Good night (269) Bad night (541)

Randomize