the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?