Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
