How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
