Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
