My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Come share oat with me in your robe
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
