I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
