i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
