You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You are the jesus of drinking
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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