So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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