her vagina looked like bernie madoff
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
COCAINE IS GR8
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
