He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
