she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Randomize