my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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