so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
