He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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