I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
