dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
