i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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