Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
