Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
