I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Drake has all the answers
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
