pop tarts are not kleenex
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
