I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
