I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
