sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
