can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
