Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
