How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
