That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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