how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
