my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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