I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
