If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
