also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
