Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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