i barfeds in our rink
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
