Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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