I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
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You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
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he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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