She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Im part way to drunk.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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