let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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