I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
