real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
