How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
