god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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