don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
