I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
