He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
