my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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