just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
